Mask Or Menace - IC Contact Post

[helpdesk_hero]

This is David Alleyne, I'm not available at the moment.
Please leave your name, contact information, and what this is regarding after the beep.

Comments

[helpdesk_hero]

Then no. I won't force you into a situation where you have to register. That isn't my intention at all, Josh.

[He's got an idea anyway, even if it isn't the nicest.]

I know a telepath here. He might be able to help me with the sleep issue.

[Former telepaths don't tend to like people in their heads, though. That he'd let the Cuckoos do it had been a testament to his desperation to be useful after his death.]

[goldtoxicity]

no way dude
i could try applying anyway just to see i'm not seeing anything that says i can't
i kinda wanna get out of government housing anyway

[ and he has an idea. and it's dumb as hell but ]

i could ask laurie if i could put in her name

[helpdesk_hero]

Am I about to be an excuse for you to get a love pad with Laurie? Because by all means, I won't stop you, but, you know.

[He's absolutely certain Laurie would do that for them.]

[goldtoxicity]

what?????
no!!!!
we're just friends

[ and wait for it ]

why did she say something

[helpdesk_hero]

Laurie and I don't talk as much as you and I do. But thanks for confirming a suspicion. You still love her, don't you?

[goldtoxicity]

[ shit

does he? or is this just a lack of closure? or guilt? or projecting? nobody has ever called him on this before and he doesn't know what to do ]

no of course not
that'd be crazy

[helpdesk_hero]

No, it wouldn't be. At all. No more than Scott loving Jean despite how many times she'd died is crazy. Though I guess that one definitely has a whole other weight there. You didn't have a chance to grow out of feelings for her as you got older. Not that you necessarily would have. Finding that you might have feelings for her now isn't all that strange at all.

[goldtoxicity]

dude i grew into a murderer who killed her friend and a borderline supervillain
and besides shes got her own life here and shes crazy successful and shes been here forever im like the dumb loser highschool ex boyfriend who can't commit to anything ever and cheated on her with a teacher

[helpdesk_hero]

Corrections time. You were forced into an untenable situation with the X-Force. And you dealt with Kevin when he was ACTUALLY a supervillain and working to try and destroy the world, more or less. Could you have dealt with Kevin non-lethally? Yes, most likely. Would he have either tried to kill you anyway, or himself? Yes.

And yes, the Rahne thing... happened. That was stupid. I've already said my peace there. But I'm not suggesting you pursue any feelings of romantic inclination you might have toward her. Or that they would be returned were you to speak to her. What I'm saying is that still loving her isn't crazy.

[goldtoxicity]

i'm talking post x-force dude i've done some dark shit

and it is crazy. its absolutely nuts. i was awful to her. the last thing i said to her was AWFUL and that was the last thing she ever heard. i have zero right to think anything romantic about her ever.

[helpdesk_hero]

You may be able to grow a heart, Josh. You can control the way it beats and how thick the walls of it are. You can give an arrhythmia or save it from cancer.

But you can't control how it feels. There is no right to it, there is no helping it. You may have been awful, but you cared about her, and you care. Channel that into your friendship if you must. It's better than hating her, isn't it?

[goldtoxicity]

i could never hate her

[ ugh. ]

look i dont know how i feel
we've just barely hit a point where we can hang out and i dont jam my foot in my mouth

[helpdesk_hero]

Okay now I feel like you're lying. I have a hard time believing there is a point where you can hang out with ANYONE and not jam your foot into your mouth. You're insanely talented.

[goldtoxicity]

yeah its all the yoga

[helpdesk_hero]

No doubt done 'hot' and without clothes. Spare me the details. I'm going to stick to regular yoga, thanks.

I did, though, have a thing I wanted to bring up with you. I should have done it sooner. I just have been agonizing over how to phrase all of this. Did you see that kid Marco talking about imPorts under 18 working together in light of everything?

[goldtoxicity]

and now you're just jealous of my flexibility jealousy is a bad look david

oh yeah the shapeshifter kid
what about it?

[helpdesk_hero]

Oh Josh, I'm HELLA flexible. I can actively get my foot over my head. While standing en pointe. Not that the ballet skills came here with me.

I'm helping him. Laurie and I are both helping him. Or are going to. Not just with this. Not just now. We want to use our experience, all we went through and all we know, to help young imPorts. They're getting screwed, and there's a small portion of the imPort population that wants to help them. I'm using my new contacts with the official and unofficial response teams to help guide young imPorts into situations. To make sure they have appropriate backup, that there is someone or someones there to have their back.

I can't let them go in unsupported like we did so many times at Xavier's. Laurie doesn't want to let that happen either. I'm going to talk to Marco about setting up some space where he lives as a training room, in case this world survives what is going on. Teach them to fight. Teach them to protect themselves. Do I want them to go out there and get hurt? No. Do I know they're going to do it anyway? God yes I know it. I want to make sure they're as safe as they can be. Like I did, after M-Day. Like I did for you and the others.

It was our hope that you might, if nothing else, be willing to help us a little with investment in equipment.

[Like he told Laurie, he can't directly ask Josh for the other thing. He refuses to use Josh as a healing battery.]

[goldtoxicity]

dude why would i not offer to help with this
so long as you aren't shoving them into action this is a good idea. xavier's was a mess because they stopped teaching us how to use our powers and started demanding we do

ive got xforce training & survivalist experience so i can help more than just bankrolling it

[ unless

they think he's a bad influence hm. there's an immediate regret after offering. ]

[helpdesk_hero]

I would never shove people into this. You know I wasn't big on the whole hero thing when I first went to Xavier's. So I would not at all want to force them into this. But this world? This world made the choice for them. And all I can do is try and make sure they live. I don't care that we 'come back.' They shouldn't have to experience that pain like we have. And in some ways, you're a better person to speak about caution than I am, because of some of the situations you got into without ever wanting it.

We'd be glad to have your help, Josh. Really glad. Laurie and I both thought as much. But I told her I'd ask. Because, well, there's a request that I have as part of this. I need you and Laurie to make sure I don't become like Scott or Logan.

[goldtoxicity]

[ you can't hear the laughter. but it's happening. long, loud and refusing to quiet down. the rest of that statement can wait a minute. ]

you could never be like scott or logan

[helpdesk_hero]

You don't know that, Josh. I don't ever want to be like them. Logan isn't likely, but Scott? He was my role model. Stupid, I know. I should have picked someone else. Hank maybe. But it was Scott. And it took me so long to walk away from him and what he did to mutant-kind. It only got worse at Utopia. Julian was right. I was trying so hard to be accepted, to claim a group of people I had no right to. I was just a baseline trying to be mutant, and I was too indoctrinated into his wants. It took what he did to Charles for me to realize it.

I can't risk being like that. I want this to be starting with the statement of 'you don't ever have to fight, and I'd really prefer you didn't, whether you're old enough or not. But since you will, I'm going to teach you to survive.'

Losing more people isn't okay.

[goldtoxicity]

you had every right to it. you were a mutant. x-gene or no you still weren't a regular flatscan no matter how much people wanted to pretend you were. just like everyone who died on the bus weren't human to anyone either. it doesnt work that way. im sorry but it doesnt

and ive personally verified that people who lost their x-gene on mday didnt actually lose it it just went hella dormant and can be reactivated under the right circumstances

as for scott

when i first saw the xforce stuff laura said that he'd probably kill me bc i was gonna blab and i believed it.
i had the cuckoos come promise to erase my memory so i wouldn't be a threat and he turned it down and sent me on a mission anyway and i went because i thought i had to
i told him i didnt want to hurt people and was put into situations where i had to and it wrecked me
then i ran away and despite seeing how kevin totally lost his shit, scott didnt send anyone to come get me either
im assuming because at that point i was a liability he didnt want hanging around

you arent scott because you care about the people youre serving you dont just see them as little game pieces to be moved around

[ and if anyone is doomed to be wolverine

well

its probably him ]

[helpdesk_hero]

[The X-Gene just being dormant is news to David. News that leaves him quiet and sitting on his bed for a long while, thinking. Wondering. Aching. Maybe someday... Maybe someday he could be whole again. Because he hasn't felt like he was since that day. As much as he'd always claimed to want to pass as a human, wanted to live a human life, that was never who he was going to be. So his own response takes nearly fifteen minutes to come through, the message sitting on 'read'.]

That's a detail I wasn't aware of about the gene. Thank you.

As for Scott... I never knew anything. If I had, I would have come to find you. I would have dragged Nori behind me kicking and screaming to do it. Or found Sophia and made her some sort of power suit. Or something. I wouldn't have left you alone out there. Except... Except I did. I'm sorry.

The way he manipulated us, the way he used us all made me so sick. I walked away fully. I had nothing to help me when I left. I couldn't go home. I just ended up in the worst job ever. In a way it was good for me. Helped save the world. But at the cost of letting down a lot of people.

[goldtoxicity]

it wasn't your fault

[ he'd been...

he hadn't been himself after genosha. after killing kevin. he'd just ran and ran and ran, and mourned everything he'd lost and everything he'd become. ]

what scott did is what scott did. what i did is what i did. i blame him for what he put me through but even then i know things were shitty so its not like he had much of a choice. and if i hadnt gone then laura wouldve died and the legacy virus wouldve killed nori and julian

and its my bad i didnt tell you
that was the last thing i did before i came here
the mothervine virus is terrible but it can reawaken the x-gene and did for a lot of mutants who were depowered after mday if they were infected
i dont know if you were one of them i was healing so many people at once i didnt have a chance to actually see who was familiar and why
but even if you werent then i should be able to give it back to you once we're back and at full strength
and
i should be able to bring laurie back too
i havent talked with her abt that

[helpdesk_hero]

Frankly? I don't know if I'd ask for it or not. That power back. It's not... The blocks in my head aren't there anymore. How can we be certain I wouldn't do terrible things with what I could do? Power corrupts. Knowledge can taint. I don't know what I'd want.

As for Laurie... That's really something you'll have to decide for yourself, I guess. Since we supposedly don't remember this place.