Mask Or Menace - IC Contact Post

[helpdesk_hero]

This is David Alleyne, I'm not available at the moment.
Please leave your name, contact information, and what this is regarding after the beep.

Comments

[helpdesk_hero]

I would never shove people into this. You know I wasn't big on the whole hero thing when I first went to Xavier's. So I would not at all want to force them into this. But this world? This world made the choice for them. And all I can do is try and make sure they live. I don't care that we 'come back.' They shouldn't have to experience that pain like we have. And in some ways, you're a better person to speak about caution than I am, because of some of the situations you got into without ever wanting it.

We'd be glad to have your help, Josh. Really glad. Laurie and I both thought as much. But I told her I'd ask. Because, well, there's a request that I have as part of this. I need you and Laurie to make sure I don't become like Scott or Logan.

[goldtoxicity]

[ you can't hear the laughter. but it's happening. long, loud and refusing to quiet down. the rest of that statement can wait a minute. ]

you could never be like scott or logan

[helpdesk_hero]

You don't know that, Josh. I don't ever want to be like them. Logan isn't likely, but Scott? He was my role model. Stupid, I know. I should have picked someone else. Hank maybe. But it was Scott. And it took me so long to walk away from him and what he did to mutant-kind. It only got worse at Utopia. Julian was right. I was trying so hard to be accepted, to claim a group of people I had no right to. I was just a baseline trying to be mutant, and I was too indoctrinated into his wants. It took what he did to Charles for me to realize it.

I can't risk being like that. I want this to be starting with the statement of 'you don't ever have to fight, and I'd really prefer you didn't, whether you're old enough or not. But since you will, I'm going to teach you to survive.'

Losing more people isn't okay.

[goldtoxicity]

you had every right to it. you were a mutant. x-gene or no you still weren't a regular flatscan no matter how much people wanted to pretend you were. just like everyone who died on the bus weren't human to anyone either. it doesnt work that way. im sorry but it doesnt

and ive personally verified that people who lost their x-gene on mday didnt actually lose it it just went hella dormant and can be reactivated under the right circumstances

as for scott

when i first saw the xforce stuff laura said that he'd probably kill me bc i was gonna blab and i believed it.
i had the cuckoos come promise to erase my memory so i wouldn't be a threat and he turned it down and sent me on a mission anyway and i went because i thought i had to
i told him i didnt want to hurt people and was put into situations where i had to and it wrecked me
then i ran away and despite seeing how kevin totally lost his shit, scott didnt send anyone to come get me either
im assuming because at that point i was a liability he didnt want hanging around

you arent scott because you care about the people youre serving you dont just see them as little game pieces to be moved around

[ and if anyone is doomed to be wolverine

well

its probably him ]

[helpdesk_hero]

[The X-Gene just being dormant is news to David. News that leaves him quiet and sitting on his bed for a long while, thinking. Wondering. Aching. Maybe someday... Maybe someday he could be whole again. Because he hasn't felt like he was since that day. As much as he'd always claimed to want to pass as a human, wanted to live a human life, that was never who he was going to be. So his own response takes nearly fifteen minutes to come through, the message sitting on 'read'.]

That's a detail I wasn't aware of about the gene. Thank you.

As for Scott... I never knew anything. If I had, I would have come to find you. I would have dragged Nori behind me kicking and screaming to do it. Or found Sophia and made her some sort of power suit. Or something. I wouldn't have left you alone out there. Except... Except I did. I'm sorry.

The way he manipulated us, the way he used us all made me so sick. I walked away fully. I had nothing to help me when I left. I couldn't go home. I just ended up in the worst job ever. In a way it was good for me. Helped save the world. But at the cost of letting down a lot of people.

[goldtoxicity]

it wasn't your fault

[ he'd been...

he hadn't been himself after genosha. after killing kevin. he'd just ran and ran and ran, and mourned everything he'd lost and everything he'd become. ]

what scott did is what scott did. what i did is what i did. i blame him for what he put me through but even then i know things were shitty so its not like he had much of a choice. and if i hadnt gone then laura wouldve died and the legacy virus wouldve killed nori and julian

and its my bad i didnt tell you
that was the last thing i did before i came here
the mothervine virus is terrible but it can reawaken the x-gene and did for a lot of mutants who were depowered after mday if they were infected
i dont know if you were one of them i was healing so many people at once i didnt have a chance to actually see who was familiar and why
but even if you werent then i should be able to give it back to you once we're back and at full strength
and
i should be able to bring laurie back too
i havent talked with her abt that

[helpdesk_hero]

Frankly? I don't know if I'd ask for it or not. That power back. It's not... The blocks in my head aren't there anymore. How can we be certain I wouldn't do terrible things with what I could do? Power corrupts. Knowledge can taint. I don't know what I'd want.

As for Laurie... That's really something you'll have to decide for yourself, I guess. Since we supposedly don't remember this place.

[goldtoxicity]

because your stupid future vision was stupid because i literally can't stay dead and you would definitely lose a fight with me if you were trying to kill me for science
dani and miss frost are both kind of bad at this parenting thing so i wouldnt take their cautions as like real things

and i know

[helpdesk_hero]

At the time it wasn't stupid, Josh. We didn't know you couldn't die. And there were things I was right about. Like... Like Jay's healing only worked while he had wings. And their cautions were things created by my own mind. Dani's powers are based entirely in the fears of the viewer.

I'll definitely keep you appraised on the young imPorts thing. As for the apartment, I really leave that up to you. My only rule for living together is that you contribute to food fund if you're going to be eating, and that the living room at least stays clean. I'd manage any kitchen and bathroom cleaning needs if you can make sure your youness doesn't overflow to an area where guests might be. After all, Damian can make entrances rather unexpectedly.

[goldtoxicity]

thats what i mean dummy it was all in your head youre scared of everything about yourself and thats really ironic coming from me

also

1. i dont technically need to eat and
2. i lived in literal rubble and then in a tibetan temple i assure you im cleaner than i was in highschool

[ granted he also likes to make a depression nest in his bed and not leave it on his off days but thats beside the point. ]

[helpdesk_hero]

[Well David understands nesting and won’t argue over that.]

Not needing food and not enjoying what I cook are two different beasts.

And yes, I am scared of my mutation and what it means. Of course I am. I couldn’t control it.

[goldtoxicity]

tucce.

and you were still learning how to use it man, of course it scared you
my powers freak me out every single day
so do lauries
so do a lot of people here
im not saying you need to suffer if you think it will make you but its also part of you to and its shitty it was taken when you were still getting your feet under you

[helpdesk_hero]

I think the real blow was my parents going behind back to Harvard once I wasn’t a mutant anymore. And Harvard finally being okay because I wasn’t a mutant anymore. That... definitely had something to do with my actions post-M-Day.

[goldtoxicity]

the world is always going to hate mutants thats just not gonna change
they barely tolerate people who look different or people in wheelchairs

[helpdesk_hero]

Yeah. I just... I kept thinking my parents had finally accepted me for what I was.

[goldtoxicity]

[ CAN'T RELATE BRO ]

yeah
i know that feeling

[ 'it would be best if you didn't write for a while josh' had always stuck with him. that fleeting moment between finding out they were there and finding out why they'd come was a tiny eternity, and the loneliness he felt afterwards was enough to inspire some truly stupid things. ] ]

[helpdesk_hero]

I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that. I had it a lot better than you did.

This place just brings up so many things. I guess I was stocking a lot of things I always wanted to talk to you about.

[goldtoxicity]

dude its fine
my parents never really knew what to do with me anyway my brothers were kind of better in every way
but i know what you mean. im sorry you didnt get to go to harvard. im glad you didnt go but
it sucks you couldve had a normal life

[helpdesk_hero]

In the end, I didn't even want Harvard. I... probably should have gone to college at some point, but getting accepted isn't easy.

[goldtoxicity]

its fucked up they wouldnt take you to begin with
youre literally the smartest person i know

[helpdesk_hero]

They /said/ it was a safety issue. If was actually the mutant thing I think. And the fact that they couldn't think of a solution to the risk of me cheating.

[goldtoxicity]

thats so dumb
like the actual dumbest
you could literally cure cancer and theyre pissy because you learn differently

[helpdesk_hero]

[A three minute delay while David works on some photo-shopping. And Josh gets the 'the more you know' rainbow and star, except on the star it just says 'racism'. Looks pretty natural there too.]

Fun.

[goldtoxicity]

[ It's not funny but he cracks up anyway. ]

if it makes you feel better hospitals back home hate me too
something something healing is a liability something something big pharma probably has a hit out on me

[helpdesk_hero]

Oh god. You're the living personification of the 'Doctor's hate her' meme. Also I'd love to see Big Pharma try.