Mask Or Menace - IC Contact Post

[helpdesk_hero]

This is David Alleyne, I'm not available at the moment.
Please leave your name, contact information, and what this is regarding after the beep.

Comments

[goldtoxicity]

its fucked up they wouldnt take you to begin with
youre literally the smartest person i know

[helpdesk_hero]

They /said/ it was a safety issue. If was actually the mutant thing I think. And the fact that they couldn't think of a solution to the risk of me cheating.

[goldtoxicity]

thats so dumb
like the actual dumbest
you could literally cure cancer and theyre pissy because you learn differently

[helpdesk_hero]

[A three minute delay while David works on some photo-shopping. And Josh gets the 'the more you know' rainbow and star, except on the star it just says 'racism'. Looks pretty natural there too.]

Fun.

[goldtoxicity]

[ It's not funny but he cracks up anyway. ]

if it makes you feel better hospitals back home hate me too
something something healing is a liability something something big pharma probably has a hit out on me

[helpdesk_hero]

Oh god. You're the living personification of the 'Doctor's hate her' meme. Also I'd love to see Big Pharma try.

[goldtoxicity]

oh my god dont get me started on that
ive met people who drink nothing but fermented cabbage juice and wonder why theyre sick

[helpdesk_hero]

The idea makes me sick. What do people do to themselves? Oh well.

Hey, if you do go with getting a place, let go check them out with you. We could have serious fun making the realtors try and figure out if we're friends or dating. Gay chicken, no stakes, just try not to laugh?

[goldtoxicity]

hell yes that sounds like a party

[helpdesk_hero]

Sap and cheese and less than veiled homosexual overtones, see if we can get someone to flinch? I could really use some flirt practice anyway.

[goldtoxicity]

*absolutely*
dude are we having fun
like
adult fun

[helpdesk_hero]

Are you asking whether the theoretical David/Josh couple is getting it on? This is us. We would definitely have STARTED into such a relationship with frustrated, half-angry sex. Would have been a fight that turned into a makeout that turned into, like, something on a dining room table.

Dosh? Javid? Josid? Davosh?

[goldtoxicity]

dude are you saying that our love story origin is i annoyed you into making out with me and then we banged on someone's dining room table

that actually sounds pretty legit

my votes davosh

[helpdesk_hero]

It's beyond legit for us. Not like we'd be at all strange, right? We've had more than enough fights that involve us getting in each other's faces. Often with you less than properly dressed. Clearly that is sexual tension right there.

How about Prodixir?

[Come on, he's laughing up a storm here.]

[goldtoxicity]

i think if we dated youd throw me off a bridge after the first week
the sex would be AMAZING though

elixidgy?

[helpdesk_hero]

too many letters on those ones. Davosh it is.

There is dating, and then there is aggressive FWB where one party cooks for the other sometimes. And it would be a small bridge.

[goldtoxicity]

true
you know dude youre basically the silent bob to my jay and thats beautiful

[helpdesk_hero]

You're right. I am the sensible and functional one.

[goldtoxicity]

there is ZERO argument on that

[helpdesk_hero]

Damn right there isn't. Because if there was, you'd definitely lose.

[goldtoxicity]

and thats why im putting you in charge of my bank accounts

[helpdesk_hero]

Good financial decision.

[And then a minute later.]

WAIT WHAT!?

[goldtoxicity]

dude im not doing anything with the money
so long as weve got enough money for rent its fine right

[helpdesk_hero]

You're leaving me? ME. In charge of your money? First rule of money, don't leave other people in charge of it unless they have a legal contract binding them to your best interests~!

[goldtoxicity]

you wanted to open a business right
damian wants some start up money
you know better than me whats worth investing in