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[helpdesk_hero]

This is David Alleyne, I'm not available at the moment.
Please leave your name, contact information, and what this is regarding after the beep.

Comments

[portolan]

Never heard of that being specific to only one stimulant.

Don't deflect my compliments, dear. I'll just have to shower you with more.

[helpdesk_hero]

I don't think I'd mind that. Being showered with your attentions.

[portolan]

I've held the wrong piece ransom.

You get more compliments if you accept them.

[helpdesk_hero]

Oh? What else would you ransom?

I think I'll get compliments whether I accept them or not. But I will try to accept them. For you.

[portolan]

Do you have pirate fantasies involving me, David? Am I kidnapping you or rescuing you?

[ He's absolutely going to push him on accepting those compliments though. ]

[helpdesk_hero]

...

You're putting ideas in my head.

[portolan]

I expect to hear them when you've formulated them properly.

[helpdesk_hero]

I just want that. I didn't even realize it.

[portolan]

You have to be more specific.

[helpdesk_hero]

I've never considered roleplaying in the bedroom.

[portolan]

[ oh! ]

If it's something you want to try, I of course will be happy to oblige you.

That does not mean you have to, or that you have to like it if you decide to try it.

[helpdesk_hero]

I wouldn't even know where to begin with that.

[portolan]

Usually with a character.

Now I'm just teasing. Honestly, it's something I did more when I didn't particularly like the other person than not. But it can be fun. Not that we are lacking any amount of fun in the bedroom. You are exquisite.

[helpdesk_hero]

Oh. If it would connect you to memories of those you don't like, I'll hold back.

[portolan]

I don't ever want you to hold back.

[ The truth is, replacing bad memories with good is a lot more healing than avoiding them. But he doesn't know how to say that without feeling...pathetic. ]

[helpdesk_hero]

I don't know how to do any of that, if I'm honest. Learning what does and doesn't work for me is... hard. Too many echoes of other people and their desires to always be sure of my own.

[portolan]

I’m not pushing. Or judging. Just letting you know if you want to try something I’m generally going to be willing. Even if you don’t know what you’re doing or if you like it. Maybe especially then. You should get to explore and learn for yourself.

I worry constantly I’m just the product of other desires forced on me. I think you’d tell me that’s silly. And before you tell me it’s not the same, I think it is. We all are blurry around the edges of where we end and the world’s hold on us begins.

[helpdesk_hero]

Honestly, the roughness we got up to was the only thing I was sure of. The bit of praise was... jarringly wonderful to me. There is so much I don't understand of myself in the end.

If there are things you want to explore with me, I'll welome it.

[portolan]

I'm much the same, dear one. I'm still learning and relearning. There are so many things I don't understand about myself, so many things you make me question. It's mostly a welcome adventure, but it's frightening at times, to see how much I don't know.

I have no agenda or current requests. I must emphasize again how wonderful being with you was. And yes -- if it wasn't amply apparent your roughness was divine. I will remember to praise you again. But I do like the idea of exploring with you and alongside you as it comes up.

Really, David, my chest gets tight whenever I think of a relationship with you. The kind that spools out into the future and changes shape even as it grows roots. I haven't let myself want that in a long time, and it's been so easy to with you. Impossible not to.

I think I'm using this medium wrong. Here I am just writing you a letter.

[helpdesk_hero]

Being with you was a wonder. I promise. Though exploration is a new way of earning each other. It will be the best way I think.

Yeah, that's a wall of text. I'll be simpler. I love you too. Deeply.

[portolan]

Why aren't you somewhere I can kiss you?

[helpdesk_hero]

Because that's just how living apart from each other works?

[portolan]

That doesn't mean I have to like it. I'm sighing dramatically.

[helpdesk_hero]

You do all things with drama.

[portolan]

It's one of my better traits.