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[helpdesk_hero]

This is David Alleyne, I'm not available at the moment.
Please leave your name, contact information, and what this is regarding after the beep.

Comments

[slowmotionbuscrash]

I think we both know I’d’ve run before now.

I think I’ll fucking hate the Alliance, but I’d hate all three options and this is the one that gives me the option of being a hero without risking prison.

Yeah. You can text me if no one else picks up. And I don’t care what you tell him. He’s not the one tripping me up.

[helpdesk_hero]

True enough.

I don't really trust the Alliance either, but I'm trying to protect people and get them home, so it comes with that.

And I guess I come with the advantage that, since texting is a literal thought for me, I can at least hold quick conversations closer to your speed.

[slowmotionbuscrash]

You’re a super genius. You kept up better than just about anyone. That’s part of the problem. I have to replace that.

I hate me for complimenting you.

Dipshit.

[helpdesk_hero]

[He wants to apologize. He needs to apologize. He's scared that Tommy will hate him if he does. Does he even have a right to try?]

I'm sorry.

I'm going to be answering to 'dipshit' for a while, aren't I?

[slowmotionbuscrash]

[ He lets it slide, and maybe it’s growth but it feels like surrendering. Tommy doesn’t relish that it acknowledges the hurt, because he thinks it makes him look needy and pathetic. ]

You got called David the other day. Maybe you’ll earn it back again, but right now, I’ve got to get it through my head that you really aren’t the right David anymore. You can’t unlive the extra time, and I can’t break shit every time I find out more about the in between time.

[helpdesk_hero]

[There is nothing needy and pathetic about having emotions. But that's hard to explain to someone.]

Yeah, that's reasonable. I'm not saying I'll be waiting on your call or something, but I'm here if you need me.

More than that, I figure most of your team is there for you.

[slowmotionbuscrash]

I haven’t really talked to them about it.

A little to Billy, but there’s no point in dragging it all out so people can accidentally dump that my dirty laundry all over Twitter. I don’t need advice. It’s fine. I’m fine.

[helpdesk_hero]

And if I buy that line you've got an in on a really great time share in florida.

It's be hard pressed to think Kate and Billy would do that to you. Loki? Absolutely. Baiting Lokis is really easy.

[slowmotionbuscrash]

It’s a great spot. Right by the Everglades. You could lose entire Sentinels in the swamp.

Funny story.

Not too long ago I would’ve said the same thing about you. See I had it right when I didn’t need anyone. People are great in controlled doses, but most of the time it’s just you and your friends are off doing whatever. Maybe they wouldn’t spill the tea, but what am I supposed to do? Have some big performative heart-to-heart so they can tell me you’ll find someone better champ? I’m getting hives thinking about it.

[helpdesk_hero]

OOooh, tell me more about the Sentinel loss properties. I'm big on that in a location.

[It's... hard to see in text just how much damage he's done to Tommy. Because this? This is the damage. These are the cracks in the trust he thought he'd helped Tommy develop. And in the moment he hates himself more than he did the night Tommy arrived. Which is, you know, wonderful.]

Opening up to people isn't performative, Tommy. It's something that, in the end, makes us stronger, even if it hurts in the moment. You need people. You DO have emotions, you DO need people.

[slowmotionbuscrash]

I'm sure you've got the basics. Swamp. Remote. Water damage on electronics.

But what you might not have expected is the lasers I've given all the alligators. You're welcome.

[ Just... not touching the rest. Not right now, maybe not ever. If he argues - because David's clearly wrong - then they just fall into an argument that no one can win because you can't prove any of that. ]

[helpdesk_hero]

Hmmm, that sounds totally tempting. I mean, I hate intense humidity, but that anti-Sentinel argument, it's attractive.

Ooooh laser alligators. Wait, are they unionized?

[slowmotionbuscrash]

Are the X-Men unionized?

[helpdesk_hero]

If only. Seriously, if we were, then maybe there would be less idiocy from the fucking council. I mean, I've been lucky, Jean-Paul would probably support us if X-Factor did it.

[slowmotionbuscrash]

That’s because he’s Northstar. The solution to everyone’s problems is to put him in charge. He’d get shit DONE.

It’s other powers that are the problem.

[helpdesk_hero]

Except he has always doubted it. But he watches out for us, it's pretty interesting. And he does get shit down. God I argue with him so much.

I still think the council is the problem.

[slowmotionbuscrash]

No way. That man doesn’t have a doubt in his body. He probably doesn’t even know the word.

No it’s definitely non-speedster powers that are the problem. Who needs them.

Just overthrow the Council. Half of them would secretly hate-respect the hell out of you for having the balls to do it. You know they’d do it themselves if they could.

But really we only need speedsters. Like I never called you for tech support.

[helpdesk_hero]

Jean-Paul doubts a lot of things. He definitely knows the word. I promise he's not as together as he seems.

Trust me, Jean-Paul doesn't want to be in charge. He barely knew what to do with us.

And we need more than just speedsters around. You need healers to keep you guys going.

[slowmotionbuscrash]

You’re just jealous.

And we don’t need healers ‘cause nobody’s touching me.

We might need somebody who spits rock salt though. You got a lead on anything like that?

[helpdesk_hero]

Not jealous of him, even if I look up to him.

I've seen speedsters seriously hurt before. I believe the help isn't bad.

Nothing on rock salt. Have you determined if the ice is magical or mutant?

[slowmotionbuscrash]

Uh huh. I absolutely believe you.

Yeah because everyone goes after speedsters first in a fight. It’s ridiculous.

Why does everyone keep asking that? Who cares what it is? It’s a freaking menace.

If I enlist in the Guardian Alliance like, now, do I get retroactive insurance coverage for the past ten minutes?

[helpdesk_hero]

I know him better, and without the pedestal you want to put him on. Admit it, he's your hero crush.

So, healers are needed to keep you at your prime so you can save all our asses.

If it's magical, I can't help you and I'd suggest talking to a Loki. If it's mutant, I have tips. And uh... What happened?

[slowmotionbuscrash]

Gold medalists are on podiums not pedestals.

And what the hell I don’t have a crush. Go crush on Forge.

Oh right Frost Giant. Except also Loki, and he’s probably think it was hysterical to make it worse.

Everything is under control. I’m good for like the next. I dunno. Day? And then I fall asleep or run out of room.

[helpdesk_hero]

Yeah, but that's not where you're putting him. And it's okay.

Forge? Dude's a fucking DISASTER that has almost gotten me killed before. I can work with him without looking up to him.

You need to pick and choose your Lokis carefully when you want help. Probably go to the adult one, rather than the YA or the kid.

Seriously, are things okay with that power? I know it can be hard to adjust to something new, and it's so much the inverse of what you do now.

[slowmotionbuscrash]

I don’t know the adult one. My options are the kid and the Young Avenger and I don’t want either one of them bossing me around.

Everything’s fine. I need an ice pick and a shovel because I think I’ve got it worked out. I just need to get the ice in the shower, and then I can run the hot water. Problem solved.