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[Yes, Josh isn't wrong on that one front, and David doesn't even try and protest it.]

I am being honest. I'm honest that I love him. That I want to be with him. That doesn't change how... How much it hurts to see Tommy here. A potential love that I've hurt so much. I was going to hurt someone, but I didn't know how to have it be the one that is right for my heart as it is rather than the one that is... is who I'd want above all others if I wasn't me as I am now.

[He's changed. Is that so wrong?]

I'm still scared he'll leave me in the end. Balthier. That he'll hold this against me, or he'll disappear like happens in these worlds. That fear lingers. I'm trying... I'm trying to take the lessons you and Laurie tried to teach me after Damian to heart. To not refuse to live my life.

That doesn't mean I don't want my friend back. Tommy meant so much to me as a friend. And now I feel like I don't have a right to him or that team.

If he breaks up with you because you tried to have an honest conversation with him about all this, he's not right for you dude.

[ ... ]

But I... [ a breath. ] Okay. Okay. You wanted full honesty, so, like... here it is.

[ he stalls a little. then finally looks up. ]

David... I know I'm the last person who should say this, given like, I spent the last four months freaking out about losing Laurie... but I'm getting a little worried about about you. Its not just that you're afraid of losing them. It's... It's a little like your worth starts hinging on it. Even hearing you talk about it now... it kinda scares me how much you've put on this and how apparently you're spinning out enough that people are coming to me to talk to you.

[While he is spinning out a little, it isn't so bad as Josh thinks. Or, at least, it isn't for the reasons he thinks.]

Who came to you? Because while I am tense over the idea of losing Balthier, I doubt it's as bad as it seems to be. I mean, life has been hard lately, yeah, but part of that is Tommy and most of it was the whole mess that happened in Excelsior and the reaction people have to Metas because of it, and Belasco of course.

[ he sucks on his teeth. ]

Balthier was the one who said I should talk to you. He yelled at me for being a shitty friend to you after I healed his leg. Which, fair, I had no idea any of this was going on.

But this isn't a new thing, dude.

[Well, he wasn't expecting that. In fact, he looked rather shocked at that.]

I... I'm sorry about that. And yeah, you didn't know. Because I didn't-

[No. No more excuses. He takes a deep breath and shakes his head.]

You're right. And I'm going to try and be better. I owe that to myself as much as to you and the people I love. Fuck. I just don't want to burden the people I love. Which, when I say it out loud, sounds fucking stupid. And Balthier's told me off for it too.

It does, yeah.

[ he says it all the time so he knows it himself. he picks up the coffee cup again, offering a half-smile. ]

You know what the hardest thing about my powers is?

I know what the hardest thing about your powers would be if I was in your position. But I don’t know what it is for you.

[For David it would be the knowing he was immortal and he would lose everyone he loved.]

It's consent. And probably my own ego.

[ josh offers a golden hand out to him. ]

I sense everything about a person's body. All the time. The more my power grows, the more aware I am of how much pain is in the people around me.

I know when someone's dying way before they do. With my power, there's nothing I couldn't do to save them. I could stand in the middle of Excelsior and heal every single person in its limits. I could regrow limbs. Give sight to the blind. Give sound to the deaf. Some people would call it a miracle.

But others would be upset, because good intentions or not, I'da made a critical, life altering choice without asking. Totally robbed them of the opportunity to to weigh in because I thought I knew best.

[ his lips quirk. ]

So like, do me a favor? When you talk to people, stop talking at them? Stop explaining. Let them talk.

[For a long, long moment David is left silent, contemplative. When at last he speaks, it's with a smile.]

You've grown up so much since we first met. I like the man you've grown into, Josh. I like him a lot. More than that, I respect how wise he's gotten. Sometimes it feels like I'm the reckless one now.

[ a small shrug, he offers a lopsided smile. ]

A little. Maybe.

[ he spins the coffee cup between his hands again. ]

We both know I had to fuck up a lot to learn the lessons I did. So at least those fuckups mean I can give sagely advice.

[Nope, gotta laugh at that comment.]

I am now imagining you dressing up like Sage and that is horrible. Can like a sage, with a big white beard on top of a mountain. Great images.

I could make it work. I mean, if I'm stealing anybody's outfit I should be stealing Emma's. I look damn good in skintight white leather.

I bet Laurie would like it. Would even offer you the contact info for the woman that does my clothes but she's more focused on dresses.

[He might flush a little to admit that.]

Josh? Thank you. Fuck, I've missed being honest with you. Got so in my head about being a burden or hurting people and I forgot I'm better when you're reminding me not to be an idiot.

Nah. Knowing me I'd just tear the thing off by accident and get nailed for indecent exposure.

[ not that he can claim to be much better. he doesn't really bat an eye at the dress, though. david's classy. of course he likes dresses. ]

And no kidding. Dude, I love you, did we learn nothing from how weird you got when you were hiding President David from the team? Secrets are for chumps.

[He winces when President Alleyne gets referenced. Fuck he hates when that is brought up. He fears his potential darkness.]

I would literally rather consider my death record than that mess. I would rather talk about fighting Belasco again than talk about that.

And... have you? Talked to someone about Belasco, I mean.

Balthier, of course. And, well... Tommy did sort of show up when Belasco jumped me in Excelsior. Kept me from getting my head split open on his axe. And then split with a stop sign. And then saved me from a street light beating. Apparently he has some powers like Mr Drake now, which definitely prevented me from disappointing a lot of people with another point on the wrong side of the win/loss columns.

Romantic partners do not count and are shit therapists.

[ immediately. he's fairly certain he and alani covered how bad of an idea that is. ]

Friends are marginally better but you gotta get a handle on that, dude.

You mean actual therapy? There aren't people out there who people like us can talk to.

[Privacy would be... impossible actually. So would secrecy.]

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