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[helpdesk_hero]

This is David Alleyne, I'm not available at the moment.
Please leave your name, contact information, and what this is regarding after the beep.

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[helpdesk_hero]

Loki and I was me owing Loki a date thing because of a favor, it going horridly, TWICE, and then a magical spell forcing a moment of intimacy. Loki and I are not now, nor ever have been, nor ever WILL be romantically involved.

He's sort of an asshole.

And I was talking about feelings because I do have them. But that's not what you want to hear. I get that. I was trying to explain that... that I'm apparently someone who can love multiple people but I get that most people aren't like that. I didn't know how to handle any of it but I could not hurt you by keeping a secret from you.

[slowmotionbuscrash]

He’s a lot of asshole, and he’s weirdly into Billy, so thanks for not making it even worse.

Yeah most people only want to hear someone talk about feelings if they’re the object of them. You should’ve told me you were dating someone else before anything else. Rip off the band-aid. It’s so much easier to deal either people who are direct than people who try to spare my feelings at quarter speed.

[helpdesk_hero]

Dude, he's creepy levels into Billy. He's also tried pretty hard to get into Josh's pants, and that's super weird.

I'm bad at interpersonal stuff. That is something I very much realize.

[slowmotionbuscrash]

I don’t know what to do with that information. They’re both grownups who can deal with it themselves. But.

Then again it turns out I’m worse at relationships than you are, so who knows.

[helpdesk_hero]

Yeah, but. You've seen the bracelet Loki wears, right?

You're not bad at relationships. You just have had shit luck at finding someone worthy of you.

[slowmotionbuscrash]

Seriously I will stop texting you if you don’t stop trying to underline how much we’re not together. I told you I’m not there yet. If I haven caught up in weeks, I’m not catching up in minutes. So stop before you’re outside my window playing Taylor Swift and just tell me about the bracelet.

[helpdesk_hero]

[He doesn't like Taylor Swift.]

Loki has a red chain bracelet. I'm pretty sure Billy made it for him. It feels... intimate? Idk, YA Loki clearly has a thing for him.

[slowmotionbuscrash]

[ He doesn’t have to like “We Are Never Ever Ever Ever Getting Back Together” to broadcast the sentiment. ]

I don’t think there’s a good way to ask about it. I don’t go for messes, and I’d rather not take this out on Billy if he’s not taking a page out of your book. I don’t want to know what’s going on. I like Teddy too much and I don’t have any spare Billys.

[helpdesk_hero]

[Sure, that's definitely something that he'd understand Tommy feeling.]

I don't want to know what's going on either. I've stopped asking them. But you're not wrong that those two have weird vibes.

[slowmotionbuscrash]

Right.

[ There doesn’t seem for much else to say that doesn’t make things more awkward, with so much held back. ]

That about covers it for me. That and I’m going to join the Alliance. Thanks for not insisting on face to face.

[helpdesk_hero]

I don't want to force you to have to be face to face to me if you don't want it.

I think you'll work well with the Alliance, and that will definitely make your life a touch easier. They are good at at least making sure you've got a place to stay and help you find work.

You're free to reach out whenever you want. And if you want, I can tell Balthier that you'd prefer he leave you alone.

[slowmotionbuscrash]

I think we both know I’d’ve run before now.

I think I’ll fucking hate the Alliance, but I’d hate all three options and this is the one that gives me the option of being a hero without risking prison.

Yeah. You can text me if no one else picks up. And I don’t care what you tell him. He’s not the one tripping me up.

[helpdesk_hero]

True enough.

I don't really trust the Alliance either, but I'm trying to protect people and get them home, so it comes with that.

And I guess I come with the advantage that, since texting is a literal thought for me, I can at least hold quick conversations closer to your speed.

[slowmotionbuscrash]

You’re a super genius. You kept up better than just about anyone. That’s part of the problem. I have to replace that.

I hate me for complimenting you.

Dipshit.

[helpdesk_hero]

[He wants to apologize. He needs to apologize. He's scared that Tommy will hate him if he does. Does he even have a right to try?]

I'm sorry.

I'm going to be answering to 'dipshit' for a while, aren't I?

[slowmotionbuscrash]

[ He lets it slide, and maybe it’s growth but it feels like surrendering. Tommy doesn’t relish that it acknowledges the hurt, because he thinks it makes him look needy and pathetic. ]

You got called David the other day. Maybe you’ll earn it back again, but right now, I’ve got to get it through my head that you really aren’t the right David anymore. You can’t unlive the extra time, and I can’t break shit every time I find out more about the in between time.

[helpdesk_hero]

[There is nothing needy and pathetic about having emotions. But that's hard to explain to someone.]

Yeah, that's reasonable. I'm not saying I'll be waiting on your call or something, but I'm here if you need me.

More than that, I figure most of your team is there for you.

[slowmotionbuscrash]

I haven’t really talked to them about it.

A little to Billy, but there’s no point in dragging it all out so people can accidentally dump that my dirty laundry all over Twitter. I don’t need advice. It’s fine. I’m fine.

[helpdesk_hero]

And if I buy that line you've got an in on a really great time share in florida.

It's be hard pressed to think Kate and Billy would do that to you. Loki? Absolutely. Baiting Lokis is really easy.

[slowmotionbuscrash]

It’s a great spot. Right by the Everglades. You could lose entire Sentinels in the swamp.

Funny story.

Not too long ago I would’ve said the same thing about you. See I had it right when I didn’t need anyone. People are great in controlled doses, but most of the time it’s just you and your friends are off doing whatever. Maybe they wouldn’t spill the tea, but what am I supposed to do? Have some big performative heart-to-heart so they can tell me you’ll find someone better champ? I’m getting hives thinking about it.

[helpdesk_hero]

OOooh, tell me more about the Sentinel loss properties. I'm big on that in a location.

[It's... hard to see in text just how much damage he's done to Tommy. Because this? This is the damage. These are the cracks in the trust he thought he'd helped Tommy develop. And in the moment he hates himself more than he did the night Tommy arrived. Which is, you know, wonderful.]

Opening up to people isn't performative, Tommy. It's something that, in the end, makes us stronger, even if it hurts in the moment. You need people. You DO have emotions, you DO need people.

[slowmotionbuscrash]

I'm sure you've got the basics. Swamp. Remote. Water damage on electronics.

But what you might not have expected is the lasers I've given all the alligators. You're welcome.

[ Just... not touching the rest. Not right now, maybe not ever. If he argues - because David's clearly wrong - then they just fall into an argument that no one can win because you can't prove any of that. ]

[helpdesk_hero]

Hmmm, that sounds totally tempting. I mean, I hate intense humidity, but that anti-Sentinel argument, it's attractive.

Ooooh laser alligators. Wait, are they unionized?

[slowmotionbuscrash]

Are the X-Men unionized?

[helpdesk_hero]

If only. Seriously, if we were, then maybe there would be less idiocy from the fucking council. I mean, I've been lucky, Jean-Paul would probably support us if X-Factor did it.