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[helpdesk_hero]

This is David Alleyne, I'm not available at the moment.
Please leave your name, contact information, and what this is regarding after the beep.

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[helpdesk_hero]

Of course. It wasn't an easy time in my life, to figure it out. And it's harder for people who are Aro and Ace I think. Because they have this whole question of whether they ever are attracted to people in one way or another or if they are just someone that's, like, Demi, which means they just need and want the right person to feel that thing.

[unkindled_madness]

That is the cultural consensus, is it not? That the right person would inspire such feelings.

[helpdesk_hero]

Yeah, because culture is always right.

[Yeah, he's absolutely rolling his eyes.]

No, the 'right' person doesn't exist for everyone. Someone who is asexual isn't going to feel sexual attraction to people. Which doesn't mean they won't have sex. Just that the sorts of things someone like me would experience just aren't things they experience.

[unkindled_madness]

...I understand that, about sex. But can one perform romance in the same way, without feeling it?

[helpdesk_hero]

Of course they can. One can perform anything, show any sort of affection, even if they aren't inherently drawn to it for its own sake.

[Why should that be a barrier? Some people are good parents without having a single parental instinct or desire. People can partake in sex without feeling the rush of need and desire others do. And people can perform romance even if they aren't drawn to it.]

Or so I assume.

[unkindled_madness]

...it seems, perhaps, dishonest.

[Is it? He does care for Loki. He doesn't think it's romantic, but if it's of an equivalent strength, does it matter?]

[helpdesk_hero]

[Well, he doesn't know that it's like that at all.]

Whoever this person is, do you like the time you spend with them?

[unkindled_madness]

[Sephiroth blinks, but... okay, it's not like he even tried to pull the "asking for a friend" bid.]

...I would not have questions, if I didn't.

[helpdesk_hero]

[Genius here, Sephiroth, and would you be so invested in this situation if it wasn't personal?]

Are they pushing for labels for it, for you?

[unkindled_madness]

[Sometimes a line of questioning can be personal but hypothetical!]

No. Quite the opposite. He said it was my choice.

[helpdesk_hero]

[But something told David it wasn't true here. Especially since he had theories about Sephiroth and Loki.]

If he doesn't care about the way you describe yourself, and you are happy with what you have, maybe the labels don't matter. Maybe the way you should define yourself is as accepting something that makes you happy rather than any labels someone like me might offer.

[unkindled_madness]

...my concern is not whether it is enough for me.

[helpdesk_hero]

[Well well well, that's interesting.]

Enough for you in what way?

[unkindled_madness]

I mean that it is.

But I don't wish to prevent him from having something more.

[helpdesk_hero]

[Interesting. David closes his eyes, thinking and humming to himself.]

First, I can't imagine anyone keeping a Loki in a relationship they don't want. They aren't like that.

Secondly, what do you want?

[unkindled_madness]

I did not mention Loki.

[helpdesk_hero]

One of the first things you asked after when we met was him. And I did go to the opening day at the theater. But forgive me if I have assumed wrong.

[That and he has spoken to said Loki and got vibes there too.]

[unkindled_madness]

You saw us?

[At the theatre, he means. He's... tried to avoid PDA. They have not 100% succeeded.]

[helpdesk_hero]

In passing, here and there. I admit most of my attention was caught up with my charming boyfriend, and trying not to be wildly self conscious in my dress.

[unkindled_madness]

...why were you wearing a dress?

[helpdesk_hero]

Because my legs are absolutely amazing.

[Dude, they don't have time to address gender stuff right now.]

[unkindled_madness]

[Sephiroth actually glances down at David's legs. Don't dresses... also cover legs? He doesn't get it.

It's not important.]

Never mind.

Would you... have been satisfied with the evening, if Balthier did not have romantic feelings for you?

[helpdesk_hero]

[Only some, and not generally the ones David likes thank you very much.]

That's a really complicated question, Sephiroth. I think if I had known going in that Balthier was aromantic, then I still would have been satisfied, because my friend who builds up my confidence, and who is also amazing in bed, took me out for a night of dancing and fun. I probably would have danced with more other people, but I still would have been happy with the way he encouraged me to be myself, and the fun we had together.

[unkindled_madness]

But he would then have been your friend. Would you have found that...

It's a different category of relationship to you, isn't it? Do you not have additional needs it doesn't fulfill?

[helpdesk_hero]

Friends can still be lovers. You don't have to be romantically involved for that at all. And, what's more, I'd dance with my friends too. The joy I get from being in their company isn't diminished for it not being romantic. It's just different.

[Additional needs it doesn't fulfill? Of course he does. So what?]

Perhaps I do have other needs, but you know what the most important part of any social connection is? Family, friend, lover, partner? It's talking. It's expressing yourself and your needs. Because until you can do that, you can't expect the same back and thus learn to respect their needs, and find your balance together.