helpdesk_hero | Metaheroes Inbox

Hmmm, that sounds totally tempting. I mean, I hate intense humidity, but that anti-Sentinel argument, it's attractive.

Ooooh laser alligators. Wait, are they unionized?

Are the X-Men unionized?

If only. Seriously, if we were, then maybe there would be less idiocy from the fucking council. I mean, I've been lucky, Jean-Paul would probably support us if X-Factor did it.

That’s because he’s Northstar. The solution to everyone’s problems is to put him in charge. He’d get shit DONE. It’s other powers that are the problem.

Except he has always doubted it. But he watches out for us, it's pretty interesting. And he does get shit down. God I argue with him so much.

I still think the council is the problem.

No way. That man doesn’t have a doubt in his body. He probably doesn’t even know the word. No it’s definitely non-speedster powers that are the problem. Who needs them. Just overthrow the Council. Half of them would secretly hate-respect the hell out of you for having the balls to do it. You know they’d do it themselves if they could. But really we only need speedsters. Like I never called you for tech support.

Jean-Paul doubts a lot of things. He definitely knows the word. I promise he's not as together as he seems.

Trust me, Jean-Paul doesn't want to be in charge. He barely knew what to do with us.

And we need more than just speedsters around. You need healers to keep you guys going.

You’re just jealous. And we don’t need healers ‘cause nobody’s touching me. We might need somebody who spits rock salt though. You got a lead on anything like that?

Not jealous of him, even if I look up to him.

I've seen speedsters seriously hurt before. I believe the help isn't bad.

Nothing on rock salt. Have you determined if the ice is magical or mutant?

Uh huh. I absolutely believe you. Yeah because everyone goes after speedsters first in a fight. It’s ridiculous. Why does everyone keep asking that? Who cares what it is? It’s a freaking menace. If I enlist in the Guardian Alliance like, now, do I get retroactive insurance coverage for the past ten minutes?

I know him better, and without the pedestal you want to put him on. Admit it, he's your hero crush.

So, healers are needed to keep you at your prime so you can save all our asses.

If it's magical, I can't help you and I'd suggest talking to a Loki. If it's mutant, I have tips. And uh... What happened?

Gold medalists are on podiums not pedestals. And what the hell I don’t have a crush. Go crush on Forge. Oh right Frost Giant. Except also Loki, and he’s probably think it was hysterical to make it worse. Everything is under control. I’m good for like the next. I dunno. Day? And then I fall asleep or run out of room.

Yeah, but that's not where you're putting him. And it's okay.

Forge? Dude's a fucking DISASTER that has almost gotten me killed before. I can work with him without looking up to him.

You need to pick and choose your Lokis carefully when you want help. Probably go to the adult one, rather than the YA or the kid.

Seriously, are things okay with that power? I know it can be hard to adjust to something new, and it's so much the inverse of what you do now.

I don’t know the adult one. My options are the kid and the Young Avenger and I don’t want either one of them bossing me around. Everything’s fine. I need an ice pick and a shovel because I think I’ve got it worked out. I just need to get the ice in the shower, and then I can run the hot water. Problem solved.

Fair enough. Maybe Steven then. He's magic. Or Sephiroth, he has some ice magic experience.

I'd lend you an ice pick if I had one, I swear.

You worked hero tech support! How is it you have nothing when my hotel room is under three inches of melting ice? Which, by the way, is getting worse because every time I try to stop it from melting I MAKE MORE ICE DAVID.

My answer on the ice is to come over and dig you out, but that won't be a thing.

Yeah, that definitely sounds like a problem. I mean, it helps prevent melting.

What. Why would you even type it then. You're enjoying this aren't you. This whole thing is your fault anyway. This only happens when I'm mad at you. I thought Krakoa was supposed to ELIMINATE mutant on mutant violence. "That definitely sounds like a problem." Yeah cause you DEFINITELY chose violence. If there was ANY significant traction right now I swear. I CAN run on ice for the record. The real concern is that it keeps melting. I don't want to know what happens when I flood the hotel. So I'll just stay here. And help prevent melting.

[That's a lot.]

You wouldn't ask me over to help. That's what I'm saying.

I'm sorry it came across wrong.

Also wow, I didn't realize I could get texts fast enough to give me a minor power feedback headache.

[ Tommy actually waits a full minute before texting back. He uses the stopwatch app and everything. He’s a lot of things, but he’s not malicious. ]

Fuck, that wasn’t intentional. I’m not used to texting technopaths. I’ll keep it to 2 texts a minute. And I wouldn’t. You’re right.

[David hadn't even realized something could do that to him in such a simple way. Geez. He's got to get some pain killers.]

I know it wasn't. I've never known a technopath that had this issue, so it wasn't like it was a simple thing to assume. And don't worry about that. I'm sure I can adjust to it. I'm just tired. Been a long day at work.

If you change your mind, let me know.

I’ll keep it in mind.

Alright then.

Sorry, I don't know how to wrap a conversation like this.

[ Tommy demonstrates by leaving him on read. It's mostly meant as a joke. ]

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