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Ding dong ditch on a cold day

[slowmotionbuscrash]

[ Meet the Christmas bush. It's from Australia and is only here because Tommy's attempts to Google "Christmas bush" looking for a artificial Christmas tree bush brought it to his attention. While he was there, he grabbed a bag of finger limes and a box of TimTams, so they're propped up against the trunk.

The bush is decorated predominantly with a dozen New York bagels, several kinds of cream cheese and containers of lox. Bagels and schmear count as at least 2, right? Et voila, bagel bush.

At one point, there's a necklace acting as a garland. Tommy doesn't often get allegorical, but the mixed media made him think of David. If pressed, he'll say it's because he's a nerd and it looks like those Star Wars comms.

Very specifically, there's a 1998 Tori Amos cd single.

Ruining the whole thing, or making it, if you're Tommy and can't let this get too nice, a bottle of Jeppson's Malört is half-sunk into the dirt. The only tag on the whole thing is on the bottle. The sharp but legible script reads "Proof that everything from Chi-town sucks." ]

[helpdesk_hero]

[Well next time he sees Tommy, that necklace will absolutely be on.]