He hates that it will take more time to recover -- hasn't he been recovering for years now? -- and hates more that recovery is a maybe. If he hasn't done it by now, then what if he's just broken?
It still helps to hear David reiterating that this is something that happened to Balthier, not because of him, and while he doesn't entirely believe it, or entirely believe that David believes it, he is trying to hear it.
"I don't talk to anyone about this," he says. "Except Fran." Who may be dead, and even if she isn't, he suspects he isn't ever going to see her again. Yes, the Confluences pull in people from overlapping worlds, but the grand majority are worlds similar to this. He doesn't know why he's an outlier, but he doesn't expect it to strike twice. And even if it does, they could be from different versions of home.
He hasn't felt this alone since he got here.
"I didn't expect to be heard." Explaining, thanking, pleading. He knows David thinks less of him now, whether it's for continuing to hurt over this or being unable to control his emotions or for not sharing sooner, whatever it is, he knows he's failed.
The piece he hasn't figured out is that he's still holding onto his father's lies about him, laid down so young that they've always been there.
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13/5/22 18:32 (UTC)It still helps to hear David reiterating that this is something that happened to Balthier, not because of him, and while he doesn't entirely believe it, or entirely believe that David believes it, he is trying to hear it.
"I don't talk to anyone about this," he says. "Except Fran." Who may be dead, and even if she isn't, he suspects he isn't ever going to see her again. Yes, the Confluences pull in people from overlapping worlds, but the grand majority are worlds similar to this. He doesn't know why he's an outlier, but he doesn't expect it to strike twice. And even if it does, they could be from different versions of home.
He hasn't felt this alone since he got here.
"I didn't expect to be heard." Explaining, thanking, pleading. He knows David thinks less of him now, whether it's for continuing to hurt over this or being unable to control his emotions or for not sharing sooner, whatever it is, he knows he's failed.
The piece he hasn't figured out is that he's still holding onto his father's lies about him, laid down so young that they've always been there.