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[helpdesk_hero]

This is David Alleyne, I'm not available at the moment.
Please leave your name, contact information, and what this is regarding after the beep.

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[unkindled_madness]

I mean that it is.

But I don't wish to prevent him from having something more.

[helpdesk_hero]

[Interesting. David closes his eyes, thinking and humming to himself.]

First, I can't imagine anyone keeping a Loki in a relationship they don't want. They aren't like that.

Secondly, what do you want?

[unkindled_madness]

I did not mention Loki.

[helpdesk_hero]

One of the first things you asked after when we met was him. And I did go to the opening day at the theater. But forgive me if I have assumed wrong.

[That and he has spoken to said Loki and got vibes there too.]

[unkindled_madness]

You saw us?

[At the theatre, he means. He's... tried to avoid PDA. They have not 100% succeeded.]

[helpdesk_hero]

In passing, here and there. I admit most of my attention was caught up with my charming boyfriend, and trying not to be wildly self conscious in my dress.

[unkindled_madness]

...why were you wearing a dress?

[helpdesk_hero]

Because my legs are absolutely amazing.

[Dude, they don't have time to address gender stuff right now.]

[unkindled_madness]

[Sephiroth actually glances down at David's legs. Don't dresses... also cover legs? He doesn't get it.

It's not important.]

Never mind.

Would you... have been satisfied with the evening, if Balthier did not have romantic feelings for you?

[helpdesk_hero]

[Only some, and not generally the ones David likes thank you very much.]

That's a really complicated question, Sephiroth. I think if I had known going in that Balthier was aromantic, then I still would have been satisfied, because my friend who builds up my confidence, and who is also amazing in bed, took me out for a night of dancing and fun. I probably would have danced with more other people, but I still would have been happy with the way he encouraged me to be myself, and the fun we had together.

[unkindled_madness]

But he would then have been your friend. Would you have found that...

It's a different category of relationship to you, isn't it? Do you not have additional needs it doesn't fulfill?

[helpdesk_hero]

Friends can still be lovers. You don't have to be romantically involved for that at all. And, what's more, I'd dance with my friends too. The joy I get from being in their company isn't diminished for it not being romantic. It's just different.

[Additional needs it doesn't fulfill? Of course he does. So what?]

Perhaps I do have other needs, but you know what the most important part of any social connection is? Family, friend, lover, partner? It's talking. It's expressing yourself and your needs. Because until you can do that, you can't expect the same back and thus learn to respect their needs, and find your balance together.

[unkindled_madness]

You're being much clearer about that now.

[He was more wishy-washy when Sephiroth tried to ask him about kissing friends.]

And of course we talk. [They do a lot of talking! ...he's clearly missing David's point there because obviously they haven't discussed this particular issue.]

[helpdesk_hero]

[Yeah, well if he talked to David now about kissing friends then there would be some awkward wishy-washy talk because of David's history.]

I fear to know how badly I helped you before, and I apologize. Though now I need to ask you something very directly.

Have you talked to Loki about this? About what he wants your relationship to be and what you believe you can offer him?

[unkindled_madness]

[Sephiroth hesitates. He's spent most of this conversation trying not to discuss Loki or their relationship directly, because he's a private person, and that's private. Precisely what they say to one another, that's for them.]

...I am not certain he will be honest.

[helpdesk_hero]

[Interesting. But also something that David worries about. That Loki was not his friend like the others were. But Sephiroth? Definitely his friend.]

Listen, I'm not in a position to judge him, or any relationship the two of you have built up. But if you have a concern that perhaps what you are isn't what he'd want, only he can answer that. I can't assume that for him.

It... It might not be easy, but you need to talk to him. Only he can answer some of these questions. But first you have to ask yourself what YOU want. What you think of when you think of him.

[unkindled_madness]

[Sephiroth trusts Loki. But Loki has his insecurities, and there are things he doesn't say.]

What I think of...?

[helpdesk_hero]

Yes. When you think of spending time with him, how does it make you feel? What do you want to do when you're spending time with him? Those sorts of things.

[unkindled_madness]

...I see.

[Why are feelings so hard to describe.]

Do you find it easy to answer such questions?

[helpdesk_hero]

Honestly? No. Emotions are such complicated things. It takes time, and introspection, to understand yourself.

[There's no easy way out of it.]

[unkindled_madness]

Mm.

[And how well has he ever understood himself?]

...thank you for... the advice.

[helpdesk_hero]

I wish I could give you answers, but... But the only way I could know what you are is if I were to use my power on you, and I doubt that's something you want.

[unkindled_madness]

[Sephiroth goes very still at that offer. He didn't think David would realize the thought that had crossed his mind, and that offer...

David's conclusion is not, entirely, accurate.]

...how could you identify something which you have never encountered before?

[helpdesk_hero]

[Of course David didn't believe that someone would agree to that. Granted it's more limited here, but for a moment he'd know Sephiroth in a way that was very intense.]

While it might not be something I am myself, I repeat that I've known many people before. I can recognize like to like.

[unkindled_madness]

I don't believe that I am... like anyone else.